How can I ever, try to be better?
by FuTuRe-AniMaToR
Summary: Amanda is frustrated when Finn won't let her in...is Finn hiding something or is Amanda over-reacting? One-shot! Jess plays the important role of Amanda's mentor...Will her advice actually work?


**Takes place before Amanda and Finn were "close." Just a random story I felt like writing one day. The song is "The Outside" by Taylor Swift. I've been on the song/fic kick lately if you haven't already noticed. I'm totally open to suggestions! But don't worry, this wont distract me enough to not continue with my planned triquel (I really hope that's the right word)! COMMENT PLEASE.**

"He's just so frustrating!" Amanda exclaimed when she closed her bedroom door.

"Well hi to you too" Jess said, grinning because she knew who "he" was.

"Sorry Jess, I'm just tired of it" Amanda said.

"Tired of what my dearest sunshine?"

"Finn!" Amanda was now pacing, quickly wearing out the carpet.

"Uh huh…I got that part," Jess teased. "What happened?"

"He treats me like dirt! He's so quiet and is always keeping to himself when he's around me." Jess simply responded with a grin. "Do I want to know what that means?" Amanda asked, putting her hands on her hips. Jess shook her head and quietly returned to her journal. Amanda sighed and laid on her bed, deep in thought.

_I didn't know what I would find_

_When I went looking for a reason, I know_

Amanda thought what Jess could've been grinning about. She didn't understand.

_I didn't read between the lines_

_And baby, I've nowhere to go_

"What am I going to do with him?" Amanda sighed, sending Jess into a fit of laughter.

_I tried to take the road less traveled by_

_But nothing seems to work the first few times_

_Am I right?_

"What?" Amanda asked.

"Nothing…well…maybe…"

"Maybe? Maybe what?" Amanda asked frantically.

"Maybe you're feeling something for Finn."

"That's crazy! He never talks to me anymore, it's like…" Amanda stopped then whispered "like he doesn't know what to say."

"I rest my case" Jess said.

_So how can I ever_

_Try to be better_

_Nobody ever, let's me in_

_I can still see you _

_This ain't the best view_

_On the outside, looking in_

"But that can't be right, he hardly knows anything about me" Amanda said.

_I've been a lot of lonely places_

_I've never been on the outside_

"I don't understand why he wont' let me in Jess" Amanda said, desperate now for an answer.

"It's like I said" Jess replies, putting down her journal "maybe there's more to his feelings than you realize. That would surely explain why he's quiet around you."

"So what do I do now?" Amanda asked.

"Go talk to him…I'm assuming he won't be hard to find considering he walks by here everyday" Jess smiled.

Amanda, who was at the door, stopped to stare at her sister, "What did you say?"

"He follows you home from school on most days" Jess answered.

"Oh, that's…" Amanda smiled "thoughtful" and raced downstairs to catch up with Finn, who was a few blocks from her house.

_You saw me there_

_But never knew_

_That I would give it all up to be_

"Ok, slow down Amanda, why are you chasing him down?" she asked herself. Maybe she was feeling exactly what Jess has described.

_A part of this_

_A part of you_

_And now it's all too late so you see_

_You could've helped if you had wanted too_

_But no one notices until it's too late _

_To do anything_

_So how can I ever_

_Try to be better_

_Nobody ever, lets me in_

_I can still see you_

_This ain't the best view_

_On the outside_

_Looking in_

_I've been a lot of lonely places _

_I've never been on the outside_

"Finn!" Amanda yelled. She quickened her pace but he was waling too fast. "Earth to Finn!" Amanda saw him turn around with a surprised face.

"Amanda, hi" Finn said shocked, but happy at the same time to see her. "I, uh, live around here so that's why I'm walking…around…here" Finn blushed, knowing his story sounded as pathetic as it did in his head when he rehearsed it just in case he ever got caught.

Amanda giggled, then blushed. "There's something I've been wanting to ask you" she said, realizing she hadn't accomplished anything with him yet.

"Oh…really?" Finn said.

"Yeah. Why do you avoid me?" she asked.

"I'm not avoiding you now" Finn replied, smiling.

"I mean, with the other Keepers…you're always so quiet around me."

Finn hesitated before answering, "I guess its cause I don't know what to say when we're with everyone else" Finn put his head down, as if ashamed.

"You're different when we're alone though…" Amanda said, taking notice of his current behavior.

"Sorry" was all he said. Amanda decided to then tell him how she felt.

"How can I ever, try to be better? Nobody ever let's me in. I can still see you" she gestured to Finn "this ain't the best view. On the outside, looking in."

Finn glanced up "I'm sorry I don't let you in" he said, taking in what she had just said.

"Don't be sorry, I just feel bad cause, you seem so depressed sometimes…" Amanda continued.

"It's just stress…stress that I wouldn't want you to feel because...well just because" Finn said.

"Because you care…like I do" Amanda confessed quietly.

_I've been a lot of lonely places _

_I've never been on the outside_

Finn smiled and reached over for her hand and held it tight. "Come on, I'll walk you home." Amanda returned to smile. Little did they know that Jess had been watching and was now giggling evilly at them, and the picture she had drawn of two people, a boy and a girl, walking, hand-in-hand.


End file.
